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top ten tools
FOR YOUR BEST PARENTING
Top Ten Parenting Tips
I have been a Professional Nanny for over thirty years. Nannying happened to me by accident, but it turned out I was good at it and l loved it. These tips, tricks and tools are the things I’ve learned in those thirty years. There are a million ways to do something, I’m just sharing the ways that worked for me. Having a plan before your children get older will save you valuable time and energy. Start now.
1. Use the proper tone.
Communication comes in various forms. Body language, actual words and the tone of voice to name a few. When communicating with your child use every possible form properly. Make eye contact, be near by and if it’s serious, speak seriously. Not mean or angry, but firmly. Take the emotion out of your voice and think about how you want your child to receive the information you’re about to share. Practice if you have to. It takes some getting use to but it sets both you and your child up for successful communication.
2. Speak in the positive when giving directions.
“Sit on your knees or bottom.” Rather than “Don’t stand on your chair.” “Use a soft voice.” Instead of “Don’t yell.” Tell your child what you WANT them to do, not what you want them to stop doing.
3. If your child can do it, have them do it.
If your child is old enough, strong enough, patient enough let them take on responsibilities in line with their capabilities. Never do something for them that they can do themselves. Have them try things with you there first, show them how to do it correctly the first time, be patient but firm. Making their bed, clearing their place, picking weeds out of the garden or flower bed, loading the dishwasher, folding and putting away laundry. If each of these things takes five to ten minutes, it could easily save you up to an hour a day as a parent.
4. Have a place for everything
If you have things sitting out everywhere, all over the place, you have too many things. If you have a place for everything and your child knows where things go, they can put them there.
5. Don’t buy your child junkie toys
Things that break are a liability to your financial and mental health. It breeds ungratefulness.
6. Feed your child less sugar.
Be aware of how many grams of sugar/carbohydrates your child is eating in a day. Bread, pasta, juice, root veggies, crackers, fruit and milk all contain sugar. Choose more protein and fat rich whole foods.
7. Encourage alone time.
Do not be your child’s entertainment 24/7. Tell them you are going to sit and read for 30 minutes while they play with their favorite toy. “You have half an hour to play with your LEGOs while I do some work. I’ll set a timer.” Or “I have some reading to do, you can play quietly with your trains. I’ll be right here on the couch if you need me.”
8. Lead by example in everything.
Speak like you want your child to speak, pick up your things the way you want your child to pick up their things, hug and use loving language when it’s appropriate, be honest about your feelings, apologize when you’re wrong. Be respectful of their thoughts and ideas, the way you would your boss or co-worker.
9. Say what you mean.
Be clear and to the point. Use fewer words. You can be polite but direct. Don’t drag it out trying not to hurt their feelings. If you say it firmly but kindly a statement is enough. “Fold that blanket.” “Turn off the computer.” Keep it simple and do not add “OK” to the end of a statement. “Put your toys away, ok?” is a question and you are not going to like the answer. If you are asking, their answer will have to do. You are setting yourself up for conflict if you add “Ok”.
10. Do not ask questions you already know the answer to. If your three year old is hopping around, wiggling with their hands between their legs do not waste precious time asking if they have to go potty. You are the adult, you know the answer. Tell them, “Go potty and wash your hands right now.” Firmly and kindly.
BONUS TIPS
11. Don’t make life too easy for them.
Let them learn to recognize hunger. It is a skill you loose if you stop listening to your body and just continually snack. That goes for your children too. At first they listen to their bodies but soon they are overriding those messages and just doing what they are expected to do. In this case overheating which leads to obesity. Let your child need something and recognize they need it. Let them ask and teach them to do it politely.
12. Think before you speak
Do not feel pressured to give an answer right away. When your child asks you something you don’t have a solid answer for tell them you will think about it and give them an answer in ten minutes, or however long you need. Don’t drag it out for days but don’t feel pressured to give an answer.
Then give them the answer and stick to it.
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I gave you a couple bonus tips because we all deserve bonuses for working hard. Put these tools in your Parenting Tool Box and use them!
