Digging Deeper

Creating Time for Digging Deeper 

As a Professional Nanny I have a plan. I have a plan that goes out into a child’s future - an hour, a week, the rest of the school year, and into their jobs and relationships years from now. So when I show up in their lives on a daily basis I have a plan I put into action. It starts with our daily routines.

A daily routine is a foundational part of this plan. By having a consistent blue print for each day the kids and I can work toward deeper, more long term learning. 

Long term learning might include how to budget, how to work out a problem with a friend, or how to accomplish a goal.

When I show up at a child’s house my “rules or blue print” kick in and my kids know what’s expected of them. That way my child can manage the basics and we can deal with the new, deeper issues they are working through. The basics are on autopilot so we are available for other conversations and next level learning.

While making dinner one night my 9 year old stood on the other side of the stove and chatted with me. His younger siblings were watching their ‘show’, so with his homework done, he finished playing and knew dinner was happening in 15-20 minutes. We chatted about various things as he leaned against the counter. What he had going on in his life; school projects, favorite video games and levels, and friends on the playground.

Suddenly he became very serious, “Jen. How do I lose weight?” He asked.

It turned out kids on the playground were commenting on his weight and he was feeling uncomfortable in his own body.

It’s a deep question for anyone, but coming from a child it’s more complicated. Answers to deep questions, especially when you are caught off guard should be short and simple. There is no need to get all the information into one conversation, so don’t pressure yourself into fast or long replies. Take a moment to gather yourself if you’re in shock and don’t panic.

The key was we had a structured afternoon and he knew he had a time and place to talk. Because he knew his work was done and his siblings were busy and I was always available, he talked to me about a deeper level issue.

Knowing that we only had 4-5 minutes of privacy before his siblings arrived and dinner was on the table our private conversation would be over. I had to use that time wisely.

My answer to his question in the moment was one I happen to be very familiar with personally so it came to me quickly and easily, “You need to learn to listen to your body. It will tell you how to be healthy. Let’s talk about how later.” I smiled.

“Ok, Jen.” He smiled back and I had him go get his sisters for dinner. 

If we didn’t have a set schedule with clear expectations he may not have felt comfortable bringing the topic up. We had a wide open moment he could trust, he felt secure because our daily routine was set and he took advantage of it. His mind knew what to expect next, he was satisfied with how he had spent the last hour and he could focus on something extra, something he was thinking about and trying to deal with. He didn’t have to wonder what was happening next, or if he have everything ready for school tomorrow. His mind was free for more.

Don’t downplay your plan of action on a daily basis. Those simple steps throughout your day may seem unimportant, but they lay the ground work and give your child the security they need to dig deeper.