Don't Interrupt Me, I'm Working

Don’t Interrupt Me, I’m Working

You might think that is a parent or an adult speaking, but it’s not. It’s a child, maybe yours. You probably haven’t heard them say those exact words because they can’t yet. They haven’t learned how to explain the way they feel or what they think in a coherent, polite manner. Sometimes bad behavior is the only way to get their frustration across when they’re being interrupted.

Earlier today I watched an eight year old empty several buckets of water only to refill them and pour them into another bucket. I’m pretty sure he could have just filled the second bucket up itself instead of all the transferring of water and time it took. He was very focused and busy and playing. Or was he?

As children are busy “playing” you might be tempted step in and “help” them do something ‘better’ or ‘faster’ or ‘ more efficiently’ - don’t, they’re actually working. Their brains need the repetition to develop, their thinking is connected by doing, and they are content to work through their ideas. It’s really beautiful to watch.

I realize as adults we can do it faster and better. We’ve already been through this phase of life, but faster and better don’t matter. Allowing your child to work things through, even if they struggle, is more valuable than you stepping in to make things easier - or worse do it for them. In fact you stepping in can be damaging.

You know that doing their homework for them is wrong, filling out job applications for them would be wrong, taking the blame or credit for something they did, would be wrong. 

Children need to take responsibility for these bigger things eventually by taking responsibility for smaller things. Working through situations like the bucket filling is a good way to problem solve before a situation becomes a crisis.

I don’t know for sure everything that was going on in his head but he was calm, and like I said, focused. He wasn’t frustrated or losing control, he was working.  Because I was near by I could see that he wasn’t upset or in danger, so I stayed out of it. If he needed me he knew he could come and ask me for help. 

Pro tip: If its safe, let them work it out - even if it doesn’t make sense to you.